October 10 - Tilt?

It's been a very solid week thus far. For 1, I got some solid coaching in. Had a few intro sessions this week, and I think the new students are feeling confident. Also did a little bit of playing. I attempted to make a new video for my site, but that failed miserably being everyone at the table wanted to take 9000 seconds to make any damn decision. O well, hopefully I can get one out soon enough. I've been lazy on filling the site with content. With that in mind, if people would like to host a video or so on the Video page...I'd be happy to do so (as long as the video isn't garbage).

Oddly enough, I began to get tilty this week. I've been fairly good about tilt control over the last few months, but lately have been feeling it hard. The tilt is preventing me from putting in solid sessions, and also preventing me from putting in as many sessions as I'd like. I don't feel tilt changes any my plays...but it certainly effects my outlook after a session, makes me get off sessions quickly, and also discourages me from putting in more hours. This deeply concerns me, so I've been putting some work into introspecting.

First, I hate running bad when others run well. This has been a huge reason why I haven't taken HU as seriously as I should. HU is effectively a zero-sum game (obviously rake comes off the table, but winnings are just pushed back and forth)...so if one person is winning, the other is losing, if one is running hot, the other must not be. This crappy thought process creates a dwelling effect on things very much out of my control. I cannot control how I run, I cannot control how “lucky” I am, I cannot control the turn card, I cannot control variance. What I can control is how I react to these things, my decisions, and my overall mental processing.

Now, these things are not easy to control. The work it takes to control how you physically and mentally react to a situation is insane. However, as a person who has chosen poker as my current profession, it would behoove me greatly to increase my control again. So, I watched a Jared Tendler (Stox psychology guy) video on controlling tilt, and began to introspect. Nothing was really said that I wasn't already aware of, but it was a nice refresher on tilt management. I'm now trying to remember to not lash out verbally (no more cursing at the screen) and to stop dwelling. I seem to dwell on “how horrible I run in comparison” often, which I know is a very negative thing to do and has no positives attached to it. I also need to remember that although people do suckout on me, I do suck out on others as well, but my brain will automatically remember when I get sucked out on and forget when I do the sucking out.

So hopefully with another video watched or so, and some more introspection (and maybe a run or so this weekend), I can start feeling more positive. Optimism is something I'm very strong at helping others view in their situations...but not something I excel at in utilizing in my own life in real time. I think I need to start stepping back, relaxing more, and progressing with a new outlook.

With all that out of the way, I guess I'll crash out for a few hours. Thanks for reading like usual, and of course, a hand (I love checking that flop to melt his brain):

Full Tilt Poker Game #8407394083: Table Mean (deep) - $0.25/$0.50 - No Limit Hold'em - 20:56:49 ET - 2008/10/08
Seat 1: Its RIGGIGGITY ($70.65)
Seat 2: Hanser666 ($122.55)
Seat 3: ViktoriusBIG ($59.20)
Seat 4: sshilton2 ($80)
Seat 5: canael ($50.65)
Seat 6: Mr Dewey ($27.90)
Seat 7: smileagain ($100)
Seat 8: ad1166 ($50)
Seat 9: MogKupo ($100)
ad1166 posts the small blind of $0.25
MogKupo is sitting out
Its RIGGIGGITY posts the big blind of $0.50
MogKupo stands up
The button is in seat #7
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Its RIGGIGGITY [Kd Ah]
Hanser666 folds
ViktoriusBIG folds
canael folds
Mr Dewey folds
smileagain folds
ad1166 raises to $2
Its RIGGIGGITY raises to $5.50
ad1166 calls $3.50
*** FLOP *** [As 7c 7s]
ad1166 checks
Its RIGGIGGITY checks
*** TURN *** [As 7c 7s] [Ac]
ad1166 bets $7
Its RIGGIGGITY calls $7
*** RIVER *** [As 7c 7s Ac] [Ad]
ad1166 checks
Its RIGGIGGITY bets $18
ad1166 calls $18
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Its RIGGIGGITY shows [Kd Ah] four of a kind, Aces
ad1166 mucks [5d 5s]
Its RIGGIGGITY wins the pot ($58) with four of a kind, Aces

*SS*